When baby makes four!

When baby #2 comes home, the older sibling might feel left out, sad and lonely.  Be sure to include your older child in the preparations for the new sibling and the care after the baby's birth by giving them specific assignment and jobs that are just for them. Make a fun chore chart with your older child and talk about the special jobs that only they can do!

Baby #2 may make you feel like you need an extra hand and that little hand covered in finger paint may be just the help you need.  Here are some ideas for involving your "helper":

• Often the older sibling is best at connecting with the baby and making them laugh.  A three year old sibling could sing and dance to entertain their sibling   Try having them tell their favorite story or recite nursery rhymes, their little voices will introduce them to music and start teaching  your baby about  rhythm and rhyme.
• Find jobs that are appropriate to the older sibling's age and ability.  Keep their tasks manageable and positives.  When my youngest daughter was born, her older sister was our diaper patrol.  We filled three little baskets with diapers, wipes, lotion and diaper ointment and set them by the couch, my bed and in the playroom.  My daughter's job was to keep the baskets stocked and she took it very seriously and did a terrific job. 
• Another toddler size job that my little ones enjoyed was pushing the wet clothes into the dryer.  I could unload the washer with one hand and put the wet things on the door of the dryer.  She would push everything into the dryer and close the door. 
• Reward independent play in your older child.  The idea is not to get the child to disappear or be out of sight but to help them learn to be patient when your hands are full or to be able to amuse themselves without someone else directing play. One of the sweetest things you might be able to observe is your child caring for his babies or stuffed animals following your example of caring for their new little sibling. Recognize, encourage and reward this wonderful behavior!
• Enlist your child is creating a welcome baby! banner to hang over their new sibling's bed.  Another fun art project is to get your child to draw a picture and their new family, upload or scan the art work onto a 5x7 inch card and use this unique stationary for thank you notes for new baby gifts. 

Helping your older child see their potential as a big brother or big sister is an essential to making a successful transition to your family of four! Love, Katie

Building a Family

“When families are built to be strong, joyful, and caring,

they become an anchor

 in a stormy sea,

a calm harbor where we feel safe and protected.” Lorle Campos

Let them fail.......

What's more important than protecting you little one from situations in which he feels he doesn't  measure up? Letting them experience a letdown and a little disappointment.  A little bit of defeat can be the stepping stone to great triumph. "Think of the things you  learn when you encounter and move beyond failure," observes Rahill Briggs, child psychologist. "You learn how to tolerate frustration, how to be creative and take different approaches to tasks and how to ask for help--all things that are necessary for long term success in life." 
We sometimes think of our children as very fragile and negative experiences might damage their developing self -esteem.  Science has proven that is just not true.  Achievement and conquering obstacles is what builds self-esteem. 
Give your children opportunities to figure out problems on their own and solve their issues in their own way and you will foster independence, development and creativity.  Encourage them to try again.  When your two year old is learning to feed themselves, don't worry about the mess or the food in their hair.  Let them gain confidence by doing. 

Be a cheerleader.  Stay on the sidelines. Don't rush in immediately to rescue.  Let them try, try again.  Let them think about it and figure it out.  When my daughter was participating in a program called Joy School, there was a little song and story that repeated the words "Fred, Fred, Use your Head" to encourage independent problem solving. 

Robert Epstein, a psychologist, says "You want to be supportive without rushing to do everything for her, especially when the task is only something they can learn through trial and error or repetition."  Help them to understand that failure is part of a normal process of trying, growing and changing. Normalize failure by letting him know that he is not the only one who doesn't get things right the first time trying. Model good behavior by being kind and understanding of your mistakes and the mistakes of others.  Saying "Oops I dropped my ice cream cone", rather than making  a scene or yelling about it will do wonders.

Perfection can't be our goal.  It isn't necessary and often isn't even attainable.  Boost confidence by recognizing change and improvement. Create activities that make learning fun and enjoyable and let your child try new things in a non-threatening way.

While failure is part of the normal human experience, it doesn't have to dictate our final accomplishments.  Walt Disney got fired from a newspaper job when the editor told him he "lacked imagination"; Oprah Winfery got fired from her first TV job as a reporter being told she was "unfit for TV" and Bill Gates first business, Traf-o-Data, failed miserably.  What did all of these eventual success stories do next? They didn't let failure stop them from trying again and again.  Success will follow persistence and hard work.  Whether your little one is learning to tie their shoes, sound out difficult words or running for student body office, letting them experience a little frustration and challenge from failure will only make them stronger and more prepared for the success they will find in future endeavors.  Failure and success---both necessary essentials!  Have a great week. Love, Katie

a loaf of bread, container of milk and a stick of butter.........I remember!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=MNghp9tPXjo

Raising a Bookworm

According to the National Report Card for Reading, only one in three fourth graders in the United States reads at grade level. By inspiring children to love books and read everyday in their childhood, you build tremendous skills and abilities that they will use throughout their lives. Love of reading is a gift you can give your child that will never fail them or leave them.  Do you need some ways to inspire your young reader to fall in love with books? Here are a few of my ideas:
1. Let them read what they are interested in---There are some great books out their about a myriad of subjects Trucks, Monsters, Dinosaurs, Space, the human body. Interests will change, so look for the right book for the right moment and keep your child's current interests in mind when suggesting books. We went through phases where we read every book in the library about lizards, then moved on to wizards and magic and even spent a month or two on rodents.  As your child gets older try learning about World War II and the Holocaust together.  My daughter studied the holocaust in fifth grade and read every young adult book she could find on the subject including Diary of Anne Frank, Number the Stars and The Hiding Place.  We were traveling to Washington DC that year and seeing the breath taking Holocaust museum there meant so much more to her because of her reading.  We have learned all about the Titanic--what it looked like, who was aboard and why they think it sank.  Egyptian mummies are fascinating and there are great books to explore ruins and artifacts.  I highly recommend the DK line of books about just about any topic you might like. 
2. Engage your kids in a little competition to keep them reading.  Explore your local libraries summer reading programs.  Many times there are great incentives and fun activities to promote reading often at little or no charge.  Keep track of books or pages read (depending on age and reading level) by adding dots to the back of a paper ladybug or stickers to a chart. Learn when story times are and make it a weekly event to attend. It is a great routine to get in to check out a new pile of books every week.
3. Be an example let your child observe you reading for pleasure or leave books around the house.   Have home libraries that are available to all readers.  Browse bookstores when you are on vacation. Bring your child to an  author visit or a book signing at a library or bookstore.

4.  Read aloud to your child, even when they are readers on their own.  Take turns reading parts and read stories that interest you.  Use voices, inflection and emotion when you read.  Encourage your child to do the same.  Encourage them to read to you and share the stories and topics that they enjoy with other family members.  Having an older sibling read to a younger one encourages a positive relationship and example.
5. Look for children's books that amuse you or stories that engage you.  Share your interests with your child.  When you are choosing books, choose titles you enjoy because you will be reading favorites again and again.  Let their favorites be your favorites.
6. Use technology as a friend.  When we would take a road trip, I would purchase or check out a great story on tape or CD.  Every summer we would be immersed in a great read all together.  One year I had been talking with my school age kids about reading A Wrinkle in Time, a favorite of mine by Madeline L.Engle.  They were less than excited about it, so I bought the tapes to listen to on a road trip.  By the 3rd chapter, everyone was engaged and loving the exciting adventures of Meg, Charles Wallace, Calvin and Mrs. Whatsit.  Near the end of our trip, I slipped in the last tape and disturbing noises came from our tape player as the tape broke and was quickly eaten up by the player.  We were all disappointed! What would we do?  We had to know how it ended.  We drove through a small town to get gas and Emily noticed across the street a small local bookstore.  I ran in and purchased a copy of the book.  For the last two hours of our trip, the girls took turns reading the last chapters aloud, so we would all know how the adventure ended.  Some other books on tape that are enjoyable for children and parents alike are the Harry Potter series (Jim Dale is a genius!), Ramona and Beezus, The Series of Unfortunate Events books and Charlotte's Web. 
Kindle or electronic readers are great tools.  Kids love having their own "equipment". They are light in weight, portable and long books won't seem so daunting because no one can see how many pages a book has on an electronic reader. 

Make some time this summer to read and love books,  Encourage your children to read through your example and enthusiasm.  A little book worm just might show up at your house because reading is an essential!

Real mothers by Jodi Piccoult

I honor of mother's day I thought I'd share this great article by the popular, prolific fiction writer and newspaper columnist-- Jodi Piccoult.  Thank you to all the REAL MOTHERS out there.  You inspire me with your dedication. You are doing a good work!  Be happy, be healthy and focus on the "essentials".  Love, Katie

“When did they stop putting toys in cereal boxes? When I was little, I remember wandering the cereal aisle (which surely is as American a phenomenon as fireworks on the Fourth of July) and picking my breakfast food based on what the reward was: a Frisbee with the Trix rabbit's face emblazoned on the front. Holographic stickers with the Lucky Charms leprechaun. A mystery decoder wheel. I could suffer through raisin bran for a month if it meant I got a magic ring at the end.

I cannot admit this out loud. In the first place, we are expected to be supermoms these days, instead of admitting that we have flaws. It is tempting to believe that all mothers wake up feeling fresh every morning, never raise their voices, only cook with organic food, and are equally at ease with the CEO and the PTA.

Here's a secret: those mothers don't exist. Most of us-even if we'd never confess-are suffering through the raisin bran in the hopes of a glimpse of that magic ring.

I look very good on paper. I have a family, and I write a newspaper column. In real life, I have to pick superglue out of the carpet, rarely remember to defrost for dinner, and plan to have BECAUSE I SAID SO engraved on my tombstone.

Real mothers wonder why experts who write for Parents and Good Housekeeping-and, dare I say it, the Burlington Free Press-seem to have their acts together all the time when they themselves can barely keep their heads above the stormy seas of parenthood.

Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum. We take the child, dump him in the lady's car, and say, "Great. Maybe YOU can do a better job."

Real mothers know that it's okay to eat cold pizza for breakfast.

Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.

If parenting is the box of raisin bran, then real mothers know the ratio of flakes to fun is severely imbalanced. For every moment that your child confides in you, or tells you he loves you, or does something unprompted to protect his brother that you happen to witness, there are many more moments of chaos, error, and self-doubt.

Real mothers may not speak the heresy, but they sometimes secretly wish they'd chosen something for breakfast other than this endless cereal.

Real mothers worry that other mothers will find that magic ring, whereas they'll be looking and looking for ages.

Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.”
― Jodi Picoult, House Rules

Eat a Rainbow

When children are infants, we as their parents, introduce them to a variety of vegetables and fruits.  My girls loved baby food pears, squash, beets, peaches---even green beans.  When children start making their own choices about healthy foods a few years later, often times the offering of veggies, especially green ones, is met with a headshake and a resounding "No!". 

What is a parent to do?  The obesity rate among children between 2 and 18 has tripled in the last 20 years.  We know our children need good food choices for optimum growth and brain development. Food choices need to reflect low calories, low sugar and high vitamin, fiber and protein.  We may have to be creative in the way we introduce and include healthy foods in our family's diet plan.

Recently there have been several cookbooks celebrating the effort of hiding vegetables in food.  While it might be effective, for a short time, to load pasta sauce with diced veggies or to add pureed zucchini to brownies, breads or chocolate cake, ultimately teaching our children to choose fruit and vegetables is going to be much more effective than tricking them.  Hopefully we can help our children to learn to love healthy choices.

Another technique that may work is to give two choices, instead of an open ended choice.  For example, instead of saying "What kind of fruit would you like for breakfast?", try "Would you like an apple or a banana for breakfast?"  During meal preparations ask,  "Would you like to help me prepare zucchini or peas for dinner tonight?". This will give you an opportunity to develop your little chef's motor skills and engage him more fully in the healthy eating process.  Children often love to eat what they have helped prepare.

One technique that worked with my kids, was talking about "eating the rainbow".  We copied some pictures of a simple rainbow and hung one on the fridge each day.  My daughter was learning the colors of the rainbow, ROY G. BIV (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet) in school. Each day she would search out a food item for each color.  After she ate her "color", she colored in that portion of the rainbow.  It was an engaging and interesting way to try many new, healthy foods.  We both tried things we hadn't tried before, like turnips, eggplant, kale and spaghetti squash---and had some coloring time, which is always fun!

I do believe it is important to show our children that we want to make healthy food choices.  They need to see us choosing a apple or banana over a cookie or taking a second helping of vegetables at dinner instead of an extra roll.  Showing our own good example is the best way to teach healty eating habits.  Eating as a family and trying new foods together has benefits on many levels.  We know children respond positively to family dinners. Talking about choices and giving our children the opportunity to make those good choices can help us all to be healthier.  And in my opinion, that is an essential.